Milo Month 28 Update

Milo right now is a bundle of little guy sweetness in a package of skinned knees and farmer's tanned arms. He is getting to be a bigger and busier boy each and every day, but he still has time to cuddle and hug.

Since returning from vacation, he's talking more and more in relatively complete sentences and with thoughtful ideas. I find it intriguing that he understands the concept of a synonym. If I don't understand what he is saying phonetically, he will sometimes repeat it using other words. I love this. Over lunch each day we talk about what we have done and have actual conversations.

In other growing up news, Milo has ceased using the binky in the car. Now it is only confined to sleep times. I'm proud of him for the car step and won't be pushing him to stop using his "ba" to sleep anytime soon.

Lately, each evening we have been spending some time outside getting nice and sweaty playing ball before heading in for bath time. This is a great way to burn off some energy at the end of the day. While it is great Milo is so curious and has so much energy, this sometimes means he is darting off when he's not supposed to be. I'm trying to find more appropriate ways for him to redirect this energy. It is keeping us busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way!

Back to Reality

We spent all last week in Florida where we swam in the ocean, dug in the sand and laughed ourselves silly. Part of the reason for getting the mini-van was in preparation for the 18 hour trip to southwest Florida. The ease that it made traveling totally made up for any angst Milo and I felt making the switch. We were able to spread out, watch DVDs and enjoy a quiet ride. It made two days each way in the car with a two-year-old not so bad.

Once at our location, we had a simply lovely time. I was really hesitant to travel with Milo last year, but this year went quite smoothly and we all had a great time. It probably helped that he is a year older and a bit more flexible with his routine, but I think the key was having reinforcements with us. Some of Milo's favorite people (and mine too) were on the trip with us and between the five of us there was always someone to entertain and or keep Milo from walking off the end of the pier.

Some random things about our trip:

• Have you seen a baby sea turtle? I love them. I almost turtle napped one from the aquarium we visited. Poor little guys only have a 1 in 1000 chance of survival.
• Toddlers can evidently live on fries alone. And ketchup too of course.
• Milo started really talking during the trip. He picked up tons of new words and was less shy about using them. There was so much to see and do and so many people around to talk with that he just got right down to it.
• Part of this meant he wanted to order his own dinner when we go out at a night. FRIES please.
• At one restaurant, he so charmed the people around us that whole tables would wave and tell him goodbye upon leaving.
• The Gulf of Mexico is one of my favorite bodies of water. Milo jumped right in and would happily proclaim himself to be FLOATING while splashing around with his swimmies on.
• We had a breakthrough in sleeping arrangements on this trip. Milo has never when traveling wanted to sleep anywhere but with me, but this time he slept on his own little cot and was quite pleased about it.
• I already miss the beach and all of our family time spent together.

Changes

We bought a new car last night. Not just a new car, but a new type of car. We are now a mini-van driving family. It's a big change and it is taking a bit of getting used to. On the one hand, it's just a vehicle. A roomier way to get us to the park. On the other hand, mini-vans have become a symbol of the suburban family running from soccer practice to martial arts. I'm not ready to say I am a card carrying member of that group yet.

Still the new car is nice and I welcome the change. My two-year-old though isn't so sure. He thoroughly enjoyed the car shopping experience. There were toys and one dealership even had a swank built in play center! He didn't seem to quite grasp that our car wasn't going to be coming home with us though and when that became clear there were big fat tears. He wanted the green car back. I can't blame him really. The green car was the only car he has ever known. We took him home from the hospital in it. I almost yelled deal off, buckled him in his seat and took off, but I blinked back my tears and explained it's okay to be sad about the things we are used to when they are gone, but change is good too.

I understood his reaction. I often say I like change, but the truth is I like change about two months after the fact. In my head I might say change is good, change is positive, all we have is the present moment and that is constantly en flux. But in my heart, I am closer to a crying two-year-old who likes what he knows and isn't ready for a change.

We're both much better today. And we'll be totally on-board with the plan in two months. Change is all we have.

Summer, Summer, Summer

Although it's not technically summer yet, we have been so enjoying some of the best the season has to offer. An early heat wave brought plenty of opportunity for wet fun. We visited fountains and played in the sprinkles. Some of Milo's buddies came over for a fun morning of baby pools and Popsicles.

We've also been riding our bikes quite a bit this summer. We finally decided on and bought a bike seat to attach to Chris' bike and Milo has been enjoying our rides. Last Sunday was such a nice day that we kept riding past our usual park destination and rode downtown for a trip to the Santa Maria and lunch at Tip Top. Totally unplanned fun!

I just realized today is the 16th! So here are some quick Milo things:

• Milo adores both of our phones. He plays some counting games on them as well as the light saber app. I also often find him pretending to talk to people on the phone - usually Pa. He will say Hallo. How you today? Good. Bye.
• Our radio listening in the car is typically NPR news. So Milo wanders around saying: Milo with NPR news. I kind of love this.
• Although Milo is for the most part a pretty adventorous eater, he did tell me "no eat kohlrabi, it yucky" the other day. His favorite food continues to be French fries. Preferably from Wendy's. Oye.

Gender Bender

Probably due to this couple who are trying to raise their 5 month old as genderless, I have been thinking about gender a lot lately. While I want to be sympathetic to the parents of this child, I think rather than making it not about gender, they are making it ALL about gender by withholding the information of whether their baby is a boy or girl.

I agree there is so much more to know about a person rather than boy or girl and as a society we are too focused on boy or girl behaviors, but by not telling people what the baby is it makes it all about the gender issue. When you a meet a baby you typically know the gender either by name or dress or other parental clue-in and once that is out of the way, then you have the opportunity to learn their favorite toy, how they like to be held and whether or not they like applesauce. By withholding that gender identity, the focus is totally on boy or girl because as humans we like to compartmentalize.

With Milo we've tried to walk a middle line in the gender issue. We didn't find out his gender before birth so for the first several months of his life he wore a lot of green and yellow, but he is now rocking out golf shirts and little boy shorts. He is allowed to pick out his toys and activities. So blocks, cooking things, tea sets all get a thumbs up from him. Cars, trucks and army men not so much. Recently at a store with a giant display of backyard play balls, he picked out pink as the one he wanted to take home. I hesitated briefly and then went with it. We now also have a purple ball. Both are typically girl colors, but a boy toy. Regardless, we have plenty of fun chasing then around the grass.

It's sometimes a tightrope walk this bringing up a child in a gender-crazed society. As parents we want to allow for freedom, nurture a healthy identity and provide the message that boys and girls are equal. We also want to make sure our children are happy, well-adjusted and accepted for who they are. Whoever that turns out to be, because there is more to a person than gender.

Milo May Update

Here we go again...although I had every intention of quitting these updates after 2 years, I have decided to keep going. I will be doing them in a different format and I think the picture might just be a recent snapshot rather than posing with the sign, but we'll see how it evolves.

Things I super heart love about Milo this month:

• He's been saying "oh" quite a bit. "Oh" as in if I tell him where his fork is and it just dawns on him. Oh.
• Milo is super sweet. At gymnastics when a friend fell down, Milo extended a hand to help him up and said "Otay Augie?". I was so proud.
• He is also a good sharer (for the most part). If another child asks for a turn with a toy, Milo will always pretty much hand it over. This is why it irritates to me no end when bigger kids just grab from him. He looks up with hurt eyes and wonders why they did that.

Milo's Favorites this month:

• Since we have reintroduced dairy to him this kid can't get enough cheese. Cheese, please.
• Being outside is still a favorite and being outside at a park is even more fun. Yesterday he asked to go to the Red Park. It was interesting he had a specific park in mind and gave it his own name.
• Milo had a cold this week and we've been watching way too much television. He has switched from watching Nick Jr. to watching the Disney Junior line-up. The Pirate show and Mickey Mouse Club house are the new favorites.

A Lovely Soup

Cooking for family and nurturing through food is a long tradition in my lineage. For this reason, I am so pleased Milo is an adventurous eater, is constantly playing kitchen, and also often helps me cook. Yesterday he was standing on a chair at the counter as I was making soup for dinner. We were adding spices, prepping veggies and chopping ingredients. In the midst of all this work, he gently rested his little head on my upper arm and said love. I'm not totally sure if he meant he loved me, he loved cooking or he just loved eating Pa's sausage, but I'll take any of the above and it was an incredibly sweet moment. It seems cooking together is as meaningful to me as it is to him.

Lovely Soup

2 links spicy sausage

1/2 onion diced

4 cups cooked white beans

3 carrots chopped

3 stalks of celery chopped

1/2 zucchini chopped

1 carton low sodium chicken broth

1 bunch kale, torn from stems and rinsed

Spices to taste: salt, pepper, garlic powder, Italian seasoning, red pepper flakes

Saute sausage and onion together until onions are translucent and sausage is no longer pink. Add beans, carrots, celery and spices. Cook for 10 minutes. Add broth and bring to boil. Cook for 1 hour. Add zucchini and cook for at least 10 minutes and then add kale 20 minutes before serving. Enjoy with a grilled cheese sandwich on a cool and rainy day in May.