Back to It

After the loveliness of Christmas with our family, Leo's birthday and my birthday we were almost all celebrated out and ready to get back to our more usual routine.  Plans didn't quite work out that way though because Chris had a conference to attend out of town.  I had the boys for two nights on my own.  I am proud to say I survived and also found a refreshed respect of single parents.

To cap off the fun winter season, the boys and I joined Chris in Sandusky for one night and two super fun days at Great Wolf Lodge.  I wasn't sure if our boys would fully enjoy the water park and hotel, but oh my did they ever.  We all had a wonderful time splashing, sliding, kicking and turning into little prunes.  Both boys loved the water and all the sprayers, pools and fountains in the water park.  Milo also really liked the onsite arcade where (with a little help from the kind employees) he won a Space Angry Bird.  We all enjoyed story time with the talking tree and exploring the resort.  Every detail at Great Wolf is set up in mind for families with young children - our waitress at dinner went out of her way to locate a fruit cup for Leo (okay, so there could be healthier food options) and every other employee we encountered was also helpful.  Best of all, it was a sweet time of reconnecting with our little family in the midst of a busy season of life.  I can't wait to go back!

It's time for back to reality though - back to the gym, back to cleaning the house, back to eating good for us foods at home.  Less special events, fewer cookies with every meal.  More scheduled naps.  And just as much love to share.

Favorite Pictures of 2012

This is our second full year with a DSLR and we are still getting the hang of it.  Still we have learned enough to get some treasured images.  Here are my favorites from the year that was mostly a blur.

2012: A Blur

When the biggest event of a year - in this case the birth of a child - happens in the first three days of the new year, it pretty much guarantees the rest of the year will be a blur.  A large, wonderful, fantastic, exhausting blur.

Even if I didn't know in my bones, I can tell the first several months of the year were both a blur and a challenge.  Blogging here became almost non-existent.  I am thankful to read the little snippets of life I did manage to record, because oh man some amazing things happened.  We played in creeks, we visited fairs, we sang songs, we ate yummy and healthy food.

Milo confronted a lot of fears and I am proud of the silly and strong boy he is becoming.  He took his first steps of independence and started preschool.  While I still don't have many details of what he does there throughout the day, he loves it and is always eager to go.  He can write his name and draw recognizable pictures.  This year he has been challenged as a big brother and shown himself to be kind and loving (most of the time).  When I start to lose it and have moments of doubt, it is often Milo who brings me back around.  He'll use the words I give him so often:  Mommy, we are problem-solvers, we just need to try again, in this family we use love and respect for self and others.  I love him for those sweet-voiced pep talks.

Leo has been the kiddo with the most changes this year.  At this time last year he wasn't even his own person and now he certainly is.  He's my giggly, loving little cuddle bug.  He has learned to crawl and pull himself to stand.  He has endeared us all with his smiles and wild hair.

These two little people kept us busy this year.  Other projects simply took a backseat to raising our family.  Our garden started off promising, but languished mid-season.  House projects have been put on indefinite hiatus.  Chris was doing great with a workout routine in the mornings for a few months, but then the holidays hit.  I've snuck in yoga where I can and tried to train for a 5k.

Overall 2012 was just as I said: a blur.  Almost like a long awaited day where you look back and can't pinpoint actual moments, but you have an overall feeling for the day.  I can't recall the details, but recalling 2012 to me feels like a warm hug from my husband, a little boy's hand in mine, and a tiny body in my arms.  I'm not sure I need the particulars when I have those sensations.

More Money

Milo:  I want to take pictures and make money
Me:  So you want to be a professional photographer
Milo (exasperated):  No I just want to take good pictures...and make money to give to Daddy to take to work and he can buy more money


The life of a budding artist is tricky.

***

3/4 of our house is sick with a nasty virus.  We are hoping the remaining and youngest family member doesn't get it.  Mommy milk protective enzymes do your work!

The Christmas Season Has Begun

Although I am typically a wait until after Thanksgiving is over before even thinking about Christmas type of girl, we have started a little early this year.  First it was just a few gifts I would buy for the boys when I saw them on sale.  Then it was the Winter Fun List.  And finally last night we attended the tree lighting of a local mall.  While we missed the actual tree lighting due to traffic and parking difficulties, we did catch the end of the parade.  I loved the parade with big balloons of reindeer and giant ginger bread men.  There were people on stilts dressed as Christmas trees and lots of festive music.  The fun atmosphere put me right in the holiday spirit (of consumerism at least).  Milo, however, did not like the loud speaker, the fire works or the general commotion.  He walked around with his hands over his ears until we made our way to a quieter portion of the outdoor mall.  Once there he enjoyed the lights plus it was close to the Lego store.

In spite of the crowds and the evening not going exactly as planned, we had a wonderful family night.  Everyone held it together and we enjoyed not only the holiday atmosphere  but also being with one another.  There must have been some type of Christmas miracle too because Leo actually slept though the night once we were home!

Back to Reality

We spent all last week in Florida where we swam in the ocean, dug in the sand and laughed ourselves silly. Part of the reason for getting the mini-van was in preparation for the 18 hour trip to southwest Florida. The ease that it made traveling totally made up for any angst Milo and I felt making the switch. We were able to spread out, watch DVDs and enjoy a quiet ride. It made two days each way in the car with a two-year-old not so bad.

Once at our location, we had a simply lovely time. I was really hesitant to travel with Milo last year, but this year went quite smoothly and we all had a great time. It probably helped that he is a year older and a bit more flexible with his routine, but I think the key was having reinforcements with us. Some of Milo's favorite people (and mine too) were on the trip with us and between the five of us there was always someone to entertain and or keep Milo from walking off the end of the pier.

Some random things about our trip:

• Have you seen a baby sea turtle? I love them. I almost turtle napped one from the aquarium we visited. Poor little guys only have a 1 in 1000 chance of survival.
• Toddlers can evidently live on fries alone. And ketchup too of course.
• Milo started really talking during the trip. He picked up tons of new words and was less shy about using them. There was so much to see and do and so many people around to talk with that he just got right down to it.
• Part of this meant he wanted to order his own dinner when we go out at a night. FRIES please.
• At one restaurant, he so charmed the people around us that whole tables would wave and tell him goodbye upon leaving.
• The Gulf of Mexico is one of my favorite bodies of water. Milo jumped right in and would happily proclaim himself to be FLOATING while splashing around with his swimmies on.
• We had a breakthrough in sleeping arrangements on this trip. Milo has never when traveling wanted to sleep anywhere but with me, but this time he slept on his own little cot and was quite pleased about it.
• I already miss the beach and all of our family time spent together.

A Lovely Soup

Cooking for family and nurturing through food is a long tradition in my lineage. For this reason, I am so pleased Milo is an adventurous eater, is constantly playing kitchen, and also often helps me cook. Yesterday he was standing on a chair at the counter as I was making soup for dinner. We were adding spices, prepping veggies and chopping ingredients. In the midst of all this work, he gently rested his little head on my upper arm and said love. I'm not totally sure if he meant he loved me, he loved cooking or he just loved eating Pa's sausage, but I'll take any of the above and it was an incredibly sweet moment. It seems cooking together is as meaningful to me as it is to him.

Lovely Soup

2 links spicy sausage

1/2 onion diced

4 cups cooked white beans

3 carrots chopped

3 stalks of celery chopped

1/2 zucchini chopped

1 carton low sodium chicken broth

1 bunch kale, torn from stems and rinsed

Spices to taste: salt, pepper, garlic powder, Italian seasoning, red pepper flakes

Saute sausage and onion together until onions are translucent and sausage is no longer pink. Add beans, carrots, celery and spices. Cook for 10 minutes. Add broth and bring to boil. Cook for 1 hour. Add zucchini and cook for at least 10 minutes and then add kale 20 minutes before serving. Enjoy with a grilled cheese sandwich on a cool and rainy day in May.

Actual Family Photos

We're not a put on matching outfits and head to the mall for portriats type of family. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it just doesn't seem to fit our style. For that reason we have exactly one "professional" shot of Milo which is him from his daycare stint on school picture day (we bought it for the irony and because his gummy smile was so adorable).

So when I noticed a Groupon (click there and sign up by January 18 and we both get free credits!) deal of a photography package earlier this year, we decided to try it out. After much cancelling and rescheduling of the date, we met up with Tiara from McFalls Images on an unseasonably warm day in November. We all met at one of our favorite parks and had a lovely day playing in the sunshine while Tiara photographed us. It was a lot of fun and with a toddler sure beats a screaming fit at JC Penney.

Christmas Accomplished

I am so happy to report that this year I don't have the nasty Christmas hangover as in years past. My holiday plan worked and we all came out okay! Sure, there were some misses (like we somehow missed Mass on Christmas Eve yet again this year), but overall the Christmas holiday was joyful. We did many fun things together as a family (Zoo lights, visiting the trains, playing in the snow). Much yummy food was consumed and while Milo and I did bake cookies we didn't make so many that it became stressful. This I think is the key to the holiday season. Moderation. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. And just because two presents under the tree are nice doesn't mean 12 presents are nicer. In keeping with the moderation theme, I shrunk the menu for Christmas dinner here at our house. I used tried and true recipes rather than testing out new ones. It was wonderful and so much easier. To balance out the simple menu (ham, black bean soup, cornbread, sweet potatoes, and fennel citrus salad), I also made a beverage menu for each guest to order from. Fun, easy and special! Just how I like my gatherings.

Hoping you all had similarly wonderful Christmases spent with family and friends. At the end of the day, they are all who matters.

Ah, Halloween

It strikes me that Halloween is quickly becoming my favorite holiday. There is candy, cute kids in costumes, good weather, and fun activities surrounding the main event (pumpkin patch and carving the pumpkins leading up to Trick or Treating). As a bonus to all the good about Halloween, what I like even more is all that is lacking about the holiday. There is no obligation to exchange presents, eat food you don't really like, or see absolutely everyone you are related to. Instead Halloween festivities are intimate and neighborhood centered. I like that.

Plus everyone just has fun and goes with the flow. Who has ever heard of Halloween guilt or families erupting into disagreements over what type of candy to give out? It just doesn't happen. It's not that serious.

Can you tell I am a little ambivalent about the upcoming holidays? I want the lightheartedness of Halloween to carry me through straight up until New Year's Eve. These pictures might help.

Do you have a favorite holiday or a tip to get me through the craziness of the next two months?

Wrapped

Year after year I experience a rough Christmas hangover. I used to think it was an actual hangover, but since I've barely imbibed these last two years I can't blame alcohol for the general feeling of malaise that haunts the days after Christmas. Maybe all the sugar is the culprit? Although fictional, Bridget Jones said it best when she remarked how unfair it is that just when you get used to the holidays they are rudely snatched away.

Compounding this feeling is that I just don't think we got Christmas right this year. Chris and I were still decorating and rushing around gift buying on Christmas Eve. We missed attending church due to out-of-whack nap schedules. All in all it was a little bit of a disaster in the traditional Christmas sense, but there were also some shining moments of brightness. So before I sink any further into this Christmas hangover of despair, let's reflect on some of the great moments of this holiday.

• Waiting in line with Milo to meet Santa. Although he had not a clue what was happening, this was really fun. I was whispering in his ear explaining to him who the guy in the red suit was and why we would be placing Milo on his lap. Milo had just woken up from a long nap in the car and was in a great mood. He liked watching the other kids and was all smiles. After meeting Santa we walked around the Zoo lights and had a nice time being out in the cold winter night.



• Waking up at my parent's house on Christmas morning with Chris and a smiling Milo between us. Due to Milo's aversion to sleeping anywhere but his own crib or car seat plus a couple more teeth coming in, we had a rough night. There was much crying and flailing of body parts (mine and Milo's) before we all cuddled into bed together. Although this isn't the most restful of sleep for me, it did make for a very nice waking up.



• Watching Milo play with his new toys and best of all his grandparents and uncle. Fun times to be sure. Truthfully Milo wasn't all that interested in the new toys, but he sure does love the Christmas tree idea.


• Hosting Christmas dinner at our house for the first time. Our house is a bit small to be a good place for entertaining, so it was certainly cozy. And I forgot to make the broccoli dish I had on the menu. Otherwise it was nice to give my parents a break from always having us over for dinners. I also really like the idea of Milo being in his own home for Christmas.
  
  Hoping you all formed some great memories of this past Christmas!

Home

I suspected when we decided it was best for our family for me to stay home with Milo for a few months there would be ups and downs. Now, as I start my third week being a stay at home, I know this is true. Staying at home has been all I thought it would be and totally different than I thought it would be.

I still feel as though I am on vacation from work, that I'll be due back in a couple of days. That's not the case and part of me is still sad that I won't be going back to that particular job.

I am shocked at how many people are out and about during the day. It seems to be a little culture of people who don't work during the day. The gym is nicely crowded, there are still lines at the grocery stores and inexplicably there are still bad drivers on the roads.

We're starting to get a routine down (one that does not included naps, thank you very much Milo). Milo and I take lots of walks and spend plenty of time on the floor giggling. There is a flow to our days that makes them go quickly, but we're still both glad to see Daddy when he gets home.

Our house is not a heck of a lot cleaner than it was when I working, but it is on the to-do list. I do have time now to get laundry done and usually at least empty the dishwasher. Evenings aren't as much of a rush and family time is more enjoyable without the craziness.

It's a simple life, but it's one I'm glad to be living at home right now.

Another New Chapter

It may come as no surprise to you if you read closely between the lines of these two posts that I have put my notice in at work. My last day will be September 18. While staying home with Milo is clearly where my heart is right now, resigning from my job was still a really difficult decision for me. Chris was supportive in whatever I decided to do, so once we figured out that we could financially manage me not working, it was up to me to decide what to do. There are parts of my job I am truly going to miss. I felt lucky to land at the company I did so early in my career. Every day was different and I experienced some things that I never would have otherwise. In the past four and a half years I worked there, I learned a lot and grew as a person. As time went on I even started to define myself through my work. Saying goodbye to all that along with some great co-workers was a tough call, but I am certain it is the right thing for me and my family right now.

I am really looking forward to spending my days with my smiley little guy. Come the first of the year, I'll start looking for a part time job. Over the past few months I've realized that working outside of the home and away from my child for 40 hours a week isn't best for me, for Milo or for Chris. Staying home will create a lot less stress in all of our lives and I can't wait to begin this new chapter.

An Everyday Moment

Chris walks into the bathroom carrying Milo, they stop and play the baby in the mirror game. Then, with shampoo suds still in my hair, I peek out around the curtain to greet my boys. Milo is freshly changed and dressed in his school clothes. It tickles Milo that Mommy appears from behind the curtain all soaking wet. We get big gummy smiles and little boy giggles. Leaning over I kiss Milo's cheek while breathing in his sweet baby smell. Chris and I kiss goodbye. Wishes for good days are exchanged. I return to my shower with a sense of contentment and ease. Another day in our life has begun.

A Special Day

Reading over the baptism rite one more time as a refresher to the class we attended back in April was something I meant to do before the official Baptism day. Unfortunately, that intention got lost in a flurry of washing white clothes, decluttering the house and making food for the party, so when the priest asked me what I wanted for my son, I drew a blank. I was standing there at the baptismal font holding Milo thinking how do I put into words all the things I want for him. I wasn't sure where to begin, but thankfully the priest mouthed the word baptism and it suddenly clicked. Yes, we want baptism for our Milo. For him to know the church community and to live by the Golden Rule. We would like for him to have faith in a higher power and to know the loving comfort of the Lord. And so we had him baptised yesterday.

It was such a special day. Full of family and good friends and love and togetherness. And as one baptism attendee noted it was quite possibly the most important day of his life.

A Life

About the only thing I liked when I read the controversial parenting book Babywise, was the idea that a baby should fit into the life of a family rather than totally take it over. Of course, babies do change lives in small and in enormous ways, but I was drawn to the idea that our baby would positively add to the life we had created rather than negatively turn everything upside down. We've had our upside down moments, but for the most part this post-baby life is similar to the one we've been working on building since Chris and I met.


We've still visited the usual summer events that are important to us - Arts Fest, Pride and later today ComFest - but now we push a stroller through the crowds and we don't stay as long. Saturday mornings are still spent in the yard drinking coffee and tending to our garden, but now we take breaks to check in on a napping baby. The weekend is still capped off with Sunday dinner at my parents, but now they're more interested in seeing Milo rather than us (and we wouldn't have it any other way). Other things have stayed the same, too. I still come home from work tired, but now I have the sweetest little cuddle buddy to laze around with.
I'm absolutely loving the life we've created and while I can still remember life before Milo, I can't imagine not having him now.

Happy Mother's Day

On this day we celebrate the mothers in our lives. We salute those women who not only feed us and nurture us, but who also shape us into the people we become. Having a good mother is a blessing and one I have always been thankful. Of course being a child is only one part of the equation and being a mother is the other part. The x to the y if you will. Having the motherhood experience is the variable that makes the theorem true and for it all to make sense.

On this day, I honor my mother and thank my little guy for making me a mom. I'm sure I have a lot more to figure out in this equation, but for once this journalism major doesn't mind doing the math.

And Baby Makes Three

This week Chris had to leave town to attend a funeral. Milo and I headed to my parent's house and although I had plenty of expert help from Grandma, I had a small taste of what single motherhood would be like and I was not impressed.

Years ago while in grad school, at the height of my I-am-a-strong-woman-and-can-do-anything-on-my-own phase, I remember thinking that should I not be married by 35 (oh the horror), I would just have a baby on my own.

What I failed to realize then was that being a single mother would not be the best choice for me or for any child of mine. In these two quick weeks (and the 9 months leading up to this), I have discovered that part of the fun of parenthood is watching your partner become someone else, someone better. Chris, while still my husband and best friend, has become a great dad and it's been so gratifying to watch him nurture this little being whom we created together.

Everyone who meets Milo agrees he's an adorable, good-natured, sweet baby, but I think it is only Chris and me who really appreciate our little guy. How sad it would be to not experience that connection with another person.

Then there is also the practicality of doing this on my own. It would be hard and a lot of work. It would mean long nights spent alone with a crying baby. I would be lonely if I were doing this alone.

Deepening our partnership to become parents and expand our love to another person has been one of the best and most surprising side effects of having a baby. The family we have quickly grown into simply takes my breath way sometimes and doing it together makes it so much more real.

Lightening the Mood

First, thank you for all your supportive messages and comments about the last post. Each day is getting better emotionally and physically and I'm very thankful for everyone in my life as I get through the unexpected birth scenario and the first days of being a new mom. Besides you can't be too down when you are looking at this little guy every day.

To lighten the mood a little more, I thought I would share some of our recent funny new parent moments. The first is typical baby boy stuff, but we got a good laugh at Milo's first diaper change at home this past Friday. Chris was changing him and forgot to get a cover on him quickly enough, consequently a very impressive arc of pee went flying a good three feet landing in an impressive puddle on the wood floors. I had heard of this happening, but to see it in real life was quite amusing to us as new parents. We have learned to duck when Milo gets too quiet during a changing.

The other funny thing happened last night as Chris and I were getting three (glorious) hours of sleep around 11 p.m. I woke up a little hazy and wanted to know where the baby was, Chris said right here and indicated Prada who was sleeping between us. I asked if the baby turned into a cat and Chris kind of grunted approval. I was so out of it, I thought huh, he's changed, but whatever and just dragged the poor cat into my lap to start nursing her. Luckily, I didn't get too far into the process because I think that would have been quite painful. Instead Chris snapped to it and said, no that is the cat, the baby is in his crib. Prada was released and no one was the worse for the incident.

Also, if you hadn't noticed, I think this blog will be rather mommy-oriented for a bit. I'll like having the record of Milo's early days and sharing it with any of you who are interested.

2008

One of the things I really like about writing this blog is that I can glance back and read about what I was thinking, doing, or eating on a random day or reflect on what I was doing last year at this time. Otherwise, for me, life just kind of gets all jumbled up and even the things I really want to remember get lost in the haze and pattern of everyday life and the details disappear. It's good to have the reminder and makes me think I should do a better job of keeping the blog updated, if not for the 10 of you who regularly check in, but for me in five years.

With that in mind, let's take a look back at 2008, before we look ahead to 2009:

In January, I traveled to Seattle for work where I seriously fell for the Pike Place Market. Upon returning home, Chris and I decided to decorate our bedroom with new grown-up furniture (that all matches!) and soothing painting colors. Chris refinished the original hardwood floors and the room came together to create a soothing oasis (if only laundry would put itself away).

February featured lots of cozy nights at home and an expansion of my yoga practice. I would continue to teach a yoga class through May, but this was the time I really hit my stride. The class I planned for Valentine's Day was one of my favorites.

March brought a freak snowstorm that blanketed the city and found us drinking way too much wine. Good times there.

In May we celebrated our 6 month wedding anniversary and at some point in June we got pregnant. I then slept through most of July and August. I briefly woke up for a few days in August to take a family trip with Chris, my parents and my brothers to New York City. We had a great time exploring the city and being together. It was special to attend a Yankees game with my Dad and to meet my brother Joe's now wife. This was also the trip where the Olive earned the nickname Olive.

All the excitement of the trip wore me out, so I continued to sleep through most of September. This, unfortunately, had a poor effect on our garden because we harvested almost nothing out of this year. We might have picked a few tomatoes, but sadly everything else rotted or was taken over by weeds.

By October, I was more awake and ready for wedding mania. This was a good time to see old friends and family. Plus, these wedding dates were so close to our own first year wedding anniversary that it was very meaningful to sit in the congregations and watch others take their vows. October also marked feeling the Olive move for the first time and beginning to get ready for the arrival by purchasing nursery furniture.


In between all of the baby excitement during the Autumn months, I taught a class at the local community college. This was a good experience for me, but it was surely a learning one and if I did it again I would be better next time.

Along with the rest of the country, I was eagerly awaiting election results on November 4 and I was so happy to know that change would be coming to the White House. Throughout November we watched my belly get bigger until at this point in December, I can't even see my toes.

Christmas 2008 was a relaxing affair full of good food and fun times spent with close family. Really that might of been the theme for 2008: family. I will look back on this year as one full of almost weekly Sunday dinners spent laughing around the table. It will also be remembered as the year Chris and I started our journey as a family of our own. I can't think of anything better to frame the year around than love of a family.