Mommy Track

Surfing through the headlines at Slate yesterday morning, this article caught my eye and has had me thinking. Having been a sophomore in high school when the term Mommy Track was coined, this was all new to me. Turns out more than 20 years ago, an article in Harvard Business Review warned companies of turning off well-educated, high performing women with non-family friendly policies. Some women of the time opted out of the workforce all together, preferring to stay home and raise families to working full time. Thus, the original article suggested a "mommy track" for those women who had children and wanted to work part-time, or job share or have flexible hours. Feminists went wild saying this would be a step back, but some women and some companies made it work.

This is obviously a topic close to my heart since I have also opted out of the workforce (at least for the time being). I never set out to be a stay-at-home-mom and there are still times when I wonder how I got here. Although, I treasure this time at home and right now wouldn't trade it for anything, there are times I worry about what my options will be when I do decide to opt back in to the workforce.

What bothers me about the mommy track, though, is that does sound demeaning. In a perfect world, this would be the everybody track and it wouldn't need a special name. Companies and employees could work together to make sure the work was done and there was also a balance of personal / professional life. That only happens in a perfect world and that doesn't seem to be where we are in this country and this economy.

I've heard the White House convened a panel to discuss work place flexibility, which is a great start. An open dialogue could lead to some real change which could lead to some women not feeling as though the best option is to just opt out (and I do believe these moms have a lot to offer the workplace).

Home

I suspected when we decided it was best for our family for me to stay home with Milo for a few months there would be ups and downs. Now, as I start my third week being a stay at home, I know this is true. Staying at home has been all I thought it would be and totally different than I thought it would be.

I still feel as though I am on vacation from work, that I'll be due back in a couple of days. That's not the case and part of me is still sad that I won't be going back to that particular job.

I am shocked at how many people are out and about during the day. It seems to be a little culture of people who don't work during the day. The gym is nicely crowded, there are still lines at the grocery stores and inexplicably there are still bad drivers on the roads.

We're starting to get a routine down (one that does not included naps, thank you very much Milo). Milo and I take lots of walks and spend plenty of time on the floor giggling. There is a flow to our days that makes them go quickly, but we're still both glad to see Daddy when he gets home.

Our house is not a heck of a lot cleaner than it was when I working, but it is on the to-do list. I do have time now to get laundry done and usually at least empty the dishwasher. Evenings aren't as much of a rush and family time is more enjoyable without the craziness.

It's a simple life, but it's one I'm glad to be living at home right now.

Another New Chapter

It may come as no surprise to you if you read closely between the lines of these two posts that I have put my notice in at work. My last day will be September 18. While staying home with Milo is clearly where my heart is right now, resigning from my job was still a really difficult decision for me. Chris was supportive in whatever I decided to do, so once we figured out that we could financially manage me not working, it was up to me to decide what to do. There are parts of my job I am truly going to miss. I felt lucky to land at the company I did so early in my career. Every day was different and I experienced some things that I never would have otherwise. In the past four and a half years I worked there, I learned a lot and grew as a person. As time went on I even started to define myself through my work. Saying goodbye to all that along with some great co-workers was a tough call, but I am certain it is the right thing for me and my family right now.

I am really looking forward to spending my days with my smiley little guy. Come the first of the year, I'll start looking for a part time job. Over the past few months I've realized that working outside of the home and away from my child for 40 hours a week isn't best for me, for Milo or for Chris. Staying home will create a lot less stress in all of our lives and I can't wait to begin this new chapter.

A New Level of Guilt

I'm not stranger to guilt. I escaped the whole Catholic guilt thing, but geesh oh peesh do I have the Liberal guilt thing going. Eat meat and feel badly about factory farming or don't eat meat and starve. Give money to every environmentalist at the door or pretend I'm not home and then fret about dodging the issue. Try to keep up with local bands or just keep on listening to my Mom's old James Taylor albums. Buy a hybrid and conserve gas or keep my car and conserve my own money. Try to eat more fish, but end up worrying about the disappearing ocean population. Recycle at home and in the office and then try to go unnoticed whilst picking cans and bottles out of the trash at the boss' cookout.

So, yes, I am well acquainted with guilt. To be honest I didn't think it could get any worse and then came along Working-Mom-Guilt. Otherwise known as the mother of all guilt. When I am at work, I feel like I should be at home with Milo. And when I am home, I feel like I should be working to otherwise escape the eye rolling that I imagine is going on in the office when I need to call in sick (again) or take the little guy to the doctor.

Oh the guilt...

June 8

I am pretty focused on the date of June 8 because it is when I return to work and stop this stay-at-home mom stint. There are two weeks left of this gig and I'm going to enjoy them. Milo and I will sleep late in the mornings, take lots of walks in the afternoons and spend the evenings with Chris without the stress of knowing I have to get up for work the next day. I'll also repeat Milo's favorite joke as many times as we can bear. The joke is this - an elephant and a zebra walk into a bar. That's the whole joke and we both dissolve into hearty giggles because clearly wild animals don't belong in bars. I'll certainly miss his adorable laugh and his gummy smile as I'm sitting through Monday morning staff meetings.


Our social calendar is full for the next two weeks. We'll be meeting friends for lunch and attending our weekly mom's group. Shopping for a baptism outfit is on the agenda, too. And, I also need to shop for work clothes for myself. Somehow the things I packed up last fall shrunk during the long and pregnant winter.

I know these next two weeks are going to fly by just like the last 10 weeks have. We've already watched Milo grow so much and I'm really thankful for the 12 weeks I had with just him at home. Now we're all going to mature as we settle into the new routine, but first we get to enjoy the next two weeks.

P Friend

Let's all bid my good friend procrastination a nice round of welcome back. I thought I had nipped this bad habit in the bud several months back, but he's made a come back. Well actually, procrastination is almost always around as Chris and I make our way through home projects (kitchen pictures coming soon, I promise!), but I thought I had kicked it to the curb in other aspects of my life. Not so much, I've discovered.

I have a great opportunity to teach a class at a local community college this coming quarter. Teaching this class will help me on a number of levels. First, I can use that Master's degree I earned back in 2002. It will also spice up my resume and earn us some extra money. I'm also really interested to see if this is a career path I would be good at and interested in pursuing more seriously in the future. So, all positives there, but I've been struggling to stay focused on creating the syllabus and making lesson plans. There is a lot going on in the GK household, and although I'm excited to tackle this new challenge, it's just been put to the back burner in favor of some other things lately.

Today I was able to buckle down and have had made some decent headway, but class starts next month and I still have a ways to go. I know if I stay focused and complete small projects, the scary though of "OMG I'm teaching a college-level class" won't seem so daunting.

Any positive thoughts are welcome. Of course, if you would like have procrastination over for a visit, that would be great, also.

Passion at Work

The other day I met a man who was so clearly passionate about what he does, that it made me smile. Well, first I wondered if the guy was for real, then I stepped back from the judgement and thought that even if he was faking his level of excitement, I should give him some credit for being so convincing. As this man poured me a glass a wine and lovingly talked about the mission of his concept, I couldn't help but to be jealous. To have that level of commitment and devotion to a job is not something I easily relate to at this point in my life.

Then this weekend, I took the second level of my journey to become an official yoga teacher or RYT-200. As I folded, twisted and inhaled and exhaled my way through the two-day class, I thought this is where that passion for me lies.

While for right now, the cubicle-dwelling me is the one who pays the bills, I also know there is another part of me who is being strengthened by beginning on a yogic journey. I'm not sure where it will take me, but I hope one day I can pour someone a glass of wine and lovingly describe the mission of a work for which I have a passion.