Saturday, January 24, 2009

Love it or Hate it

A question I get quite often is if I am loving or hating being pregnant. This question usually comes from women who have had already children. Often they will ask the question and then look at me with breathless anticipation awaiting my response. It seems they are waiting to check me into their club or the other club. Some women loved being pregnant and will tell me about how they felt great for 9 months. Some women hated being pregnant and will tell me all the reasons why.

The truth is, I'm somewhere in the middle of the two camps. At first, I was too tired to really explore my feelings on the condition of pregnancy. Then for a long time, I didn't feel pregnant and really had no opinion on the matter, other than that I knew we were having a baby and was happy about that. After that, I began to feel the baby move and there were more outward physical changes. During this time I was in the loving it camp - I had energy, I could still see my toes and I felt really good. Recently, though, I can see why there is a hating it camp. I'm not quite there yet, but I certainly don't feel like myself any longer. My back almost always hurts, for the first time in my life I know what heart burn is and I'm ready for bed by 8:30 each night.

Still, though, even with these (and other) psychical ailments, I can't really put myself in the hating it camp. I still feel flashes of amazement and love when I get a strong kick. There are a couple of minutes a day when my back doesn't hurt and I don't feel like a whale when even I think my huge round belly is cute (these are very fleeting moments).

So I am not really sure which camp I'm in, but I'm a lot closer to loving being pregnant than hating it, because in the end, I have to think that it is all going to be worth it.

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